50 Things…..about ME!


So I saw a post on a random blog I came across and thought it was kind of a cool idea so I’m going to copy it.
Yup, just like that.
Oh, but I’m going to change it to be about me instead of that other person, who’s blog I’m copying.
So ya, here’s a list of little known /random/interesting/not-so-interesting/funny things about me. In no particular order of any kind.

1) My name is Ryan and I am indeed a female. I am not Ryan’s wife, as many a customer service representative has asked, nor did my mother REALLY want a boy.
2) I grew up and still reside in Staten Island, NY. Lovingly referred to as The Rock, Shaolin, the Dump on which people live, home of the Wu Tang Clan and Land of the Mafia Dons.
3) I have had giant dogs for most of my life. Newfoundlands to be exact. I plan on breeding them when I move to my farm.
4) I have a SERIOUS fear of praying mantises (what the hell is the correct plural form of mantis?). I had one land on my face while doing 60 on the highway once. That just about did it for me.
5) I might be a little bit too in love with my car. Finding a new chip in the paint is liable to put me in a bad mood for a week.
6) I love to read. My nerd-dom was instilled in me from a very early age and it’s never failed me yet.
7) I am a lesbian. I secretly believe that my mother secretly wishes this was still a “phase”. It’s not. I checked.
8) Whenever I’m in a situation where there may be a lot of people around, but no one seems to be particularly paying attention to me, I will make weird faces for as long as I can get away with it. Eye twitching, facial ticks, things like this.
9) I also make very strange faces whenever I have to look in a mirror. I just do. I don’t know why.
10) I care FAR too much about what other people think and will actually convince myself that an idea is not good enough even before I can say it out loud to avoid the possible embarrassment of others not thinking that it’s good enough.
11) My brain translates everything into some form of numbers.
12) I believe that I am quite good at accents and imitations.
13) The highest speed I have reached while driving a vehicle is 137mph.
14) I miss my Nana terribly.
15) I don’t think that it’s possible for me to have chosen a better wife for myself. We fight and we bitch and we bicker, but she keeps my ass in line and I love her.
16) I stole a pack of gum in 4th grade. I have never stopped feeling bad about it.
17) For no apparent reason whatsoever, in 1987, (age 7) at Lake George on vacation, I bared my ass inside a pine tree just to see what cool air felt like on my butt. My parents have never let me live this down.
18) The mention of Lake Titicaca still makes me laugh my ass off.
19) I decided long ago, that there are certain words, when repeated enough, will start to sound completely ridiculous. My favorite of these is Snuck.
20) I think I am too smart for my job. But it’s one of those where I’ve gotta “pay my dues” (i.e. suck someone’s ass) in order to move up.
21) Gone With the Wind is my favorite movie. Ever.
22) I have no cool “when I lost my virginity” story because I don’t know when it actually happened. I’m certainly not one anymore, but I don’t have a clear picture of what counted and what didn’t, being a lesbian and all. Very confusing stuff.
23) There is a tiny dinosaur that lives in my living room. His name is Leo.
24) I want to have kids. A whole lot. This lesbian thing and being broke make that a bit difficult, but have no fear, I will prevail.
25) I have a tendency to make fun of others for my own enjoyment.
26) My first kiss was such an embarrassing experience that I didn’t kiss anyone for 3 years after that.
27) My wife and I have a newfound love of ice skating and are learning to “slide stop” like the cool kids do.
28) I have no patience whatsoever for stupid people.
29) I have become a serious coffee snob in my old age. If I ever start drinking Jamaica Blue Mountain exclusively, someone please slap me.
30) I NEVER take my vitamins.
31) I am seriously considering driving 13 hours there and back to Tennessee in June to go to the big four day hippie-fest camping/concert that is Bonnaroo. I figure once I pass 30, I will officially be too old for that kind of crap.
32) I am very weird about setting my alarm in the morning. I am incapable of setting it for any numbers ending in 0, 2, 4, 5, 6 & 8 leaving the only available minutes to be 1, 3, 7 & 9. My wife is baffled by this but I have no good explanation for it.
33) My parents had me when they were 17, therefore I am akin to some comical science experiment on raising children by children. They encouraged me to curse at a young age for their fun and enjoyment, greatly contributing to my current status as a “potty mouth”.
34) I have formed solid internet relationships with people all over the country who have a similar sickness of loving their cars too much. Much love to MitsubishiEclipseForum.com.
35) My inner monologue is not always quite so inner. Example of this: This afternoon, while leaving my local lunch place, I pushed a door that was clearly marked “pull”, firstly, making me feel oh so cool and secondly, actually uttering out loud “School for the gifted, here I come” to which the person behind me had to stifle a snicker.
36) I love the sound of those rumble strips that they have before toll booths. I find it soothing and will always turn down the radio to better listen.
37) I absolutely will not eat a grilled cheese if it doesn’t have syrup on it. This is a requirement.
38) I am giddy right now because we just scored a new apartment. Time to start packing.
39) Contrary to my pasty white skin, I am ¼ Puerto Rican, which is only made obvious by my gadonkadonk bubble butt.
40) I find myself agonizing over the past too much sometimes.
41) Me and high heels, dresses and other girly accoutrements do NOT get along. This shall be made painfully clear when I will be a bridesmaid this summer.
42) I can shoot a target the size of a dinner plate at 300 yards with no problem.
43) I love camping and all its dirty glory. I especially love the moment when the cell phones cease to have any service!
44) I don’t own my own tent. Every year, we buy the biggest, most apartment sized tent we can find at Sears, use it for the whole week, then bring it back and say that it leaked. Their money back guarantee is wonderful.
45) I am a closet sudoku freak.
46) When I was little, I would absolutely REFUSE to low my nose. I would just sniffle and sniffle. I had the sniffles for 6 months at a clip back then. I would sniffle so much that my mother would threaten to blow into my nose and have the boogies come out my mouth. I always thought she was bluffing till I found out that she wasn’t. I’ve blown my own nose ever since.
47) I have an uncanny ability to remember dates and faces. Names, not so much.
48) I still think my 1st grade teacher influenced me the most. Mrs. Sherman, if you’re out there, Thanks.
49) I still feel like I’m 17 sometimes and am amazed that the authorities trust me enough to operate large chunks of metal on wheels at high speeds.
50) I have now reached 50 things about me. That’s enough work for today!

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