A Belated Birthday present for one half of Love and Cyanide


You are probably familiar with the phrase “bringing home the bacon.” But where does it come from, you ask.
I’ll tell you.
*In the twelfth century, a church in the English town of Dunmow promised a side of bacon to any married man who could swear before the congregation and before God that he had not quarreled with his wife for a year and a day. A husband who could bring home the bacon was held in high esteem by the community for his forbearance*. (*excerpt from about.com*)

Well, I’m going to bring home the bacon, baby. And not in that 12th century kinda way either, cause lord knows I’ve quarreled with my wife in the last year. I’m going for the 21st century version in which I bring you, all two of my loyal readers, the goods. The goods, of course, are bacon!

When I began this quest, I really had no idea the amount of bacon related things I would find. I feel like there’s a whole bacon subculture out there, with bacon-loving-people, just like me. It made me feel a little better about myself, knowing that there are others. It’s kind of like that feeling I had when I realized I was gay, and that there were indeed other girls who just “really loved their best friend.” But that’s another story, for another time.

I suppose I’ll start with bacon to eat. My favorite kind, really.
We’ll start off simple with some items that are just bacon, as it is, but in nice little cup or placemat shapes. I think the cups are cute and can be functional, but I’m not quite sure how useful a bacon placemat could be. I mean, aren’t placemats supposed to prevent grease from getting on your table, not be the source of it?
This guy has some serious dedication to his love of bacon and I wholeheartedly commend him for making his own from scratch. I wonder if he hand raised that pig.
These folks have really taken it one step further by hosting a bacon themed party. I fully intend to host one of these in the near future.

Then we have the bacon icing on cupcakes as well as an haute couture bacon chocolate bar.
Now there’s this candied bacon, which is making my mouth water just looking at it. It looks like the most delectable piece of bacon god ever put on this earth.
And I assure you, that as soon as my new kitchen becomes fully functional after the move that I will be churning out trays and trays of this salty sweet treat. It’s Baklava, only kicked up a notch.

I feel compelled to include the good with the bad here and this, my friends, is most certainly the bad.
But the piece de resistance of the edible portion of this blog goes to BaconPig. I don’t think that I really need to explain why.

Now you may think that eating it is the only way to ingest bacon. Not so, says I. I have found bacon vodka as well as maple bacon coffee for your bacon-drinking pleasure. I can personally attest to the wonderfulness that is maple bacon coffee. To be fair, it is more maple-y than bacon-y, but you still get that hearty homemade breakfast feel out of it. And I’m sure you could probably melt down that chocolate bacon bar into some form of hot bacon cocoa, but I can’t be sure without trying it.

Now we move onto non-edible bacon-related goodness. Here is where my surprise really jumped up a level. There are quite a few blogs dedicated entirely to the wonderfulness that is bacon. I’m only tipping the iceberg here with my petty little blog entry. These people are like the Bacon Gestapo. They even have their own BRS (Bacon Rating System). I know.
Mr.Baconpants, over here, has a nifty little list of odd bacon related items as well.

I couldn’t believe the many ways that exist in which you can wear bacon. For instance, we have a bacon costume. For Halloween, I’m hoping. But if you’re looking for more of a daily wear kind of think then we have this lovely bacon print suit that also smells like bacon. This feature, I suppose, is to attract as many stray dogs as possible while walking down the street.
To complete your look, we have bacon bobby pins, a bacon scarf, bacon band-aids and all in one place, believe it or not, a bacon wallet, bacon flavored toothpicks and bacon mints!!

This guy wanted to make his love of bacon oh so permanent. Wow.
And just in case you’re really bored in that staff meeting, we have the What Would Bacon Do? Folder! I’m sure that could just produce hours of entertainment.

Now, we’re nearing the end of my little list here. I know, I know, so sad. But to keep the bacon loving all year round, you can get yourself a fresh copy of “Everything Tastes Better with Bacon”. I know I will be!

But now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. This one is precisely for you, one half of Love and Cyanide (which half are you, by the way?) and I think you’re going to love it.
I bring you the Wake ‘n Bacon. Please let me know where this falls on your scale of coolest time-pieces.
Over and out, folks.

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