My teenage brain leaks out


Ok, so recently, my good friend Mamasoo posted a poem and admitted to me that it was probably only the second poem she’d ever written. Well, this simply blew my mind, due to the fact that between the ages of 16 to 22, I had a writing book on my person at all times, in which to write my brains out. So this prompted me to go home and dig these out of my bookcases. Imagine my surprise when I realized that I’ve authored 3 full books of original works! Some were just rambles, some really early ones were rhyming ones and most were simply my own little brand of poems. So, I’ve decided I’m going to periodically post some of these, to get a glimpse into the person I was, and how she came to be the person I am.
This is the first one. It was written on 12/8/98.

According to you…

I rode my golden chariot
into the center of your life
With flowers embedded in my hair
and the greenest emeralds in my eyes.
I brought the purest light with me
and left it upon everything I passed.
I look around my grim surroundings
at the dark figures huddled
in the corner.
I peer into the blackness
that is only stained darker
by the rain
and try to make out a face.
I catch a movement in the
corner of my eye.
I turn quickly to see you,
afraid, cowering from me.
My gaze softens
and I beckon you to me.
I take your soiled face in my hands
and look.
Look through to your soul.
I see your anger and the darkness
that lives in you.
And I see the fear that you have
of being consumed by it.
I choose to save you
from the toils of this world.
I take you up into my chariot
and slowly bring my lips to yours.
You back away, at first,
not wanting to dirty me.
But I pull you closer,
force your arms around me,
sullying my white garb.
You run your hands through my hair,
and push the flowers to the floor,
like heavy bricks from a building.
Run your fingers across my face,
leaving muddy streaks as you go.
Yet I long to kiss you,
to know your taste.
So I lower your face to mine,
and take what I want.
I feel your lips, your tongue,
your hands on my back
and I love you.
And I wonder how you existed
here for so long,
how no one came before me,
to keep you for themselves.
And I think to myself,
as I memorize your smell,
that according to you,
I was the light.
But when you ask me,
it was I who was saved.

2 thoughts on “My teenage brain leaks out

  1. Pingback: Words « Unlawfully Wedded Wife

  2. Hi! I stumbled upon your blog from Life As An Underage Lesbian and I must say I was left breathless after reading your poem. I don't know if it's the cup of coffee I shouldn't have had today that's left me in such a high-strung state, but I thought it was very beautiful. Is there any way I could read more of your poetry/do you write it nowadays? I'll be very curious to know, and keep up the wonderful blog😀

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