Putting a toe back in the water

So, 2 years have passed since my last post.  I think that goes way beyond slacker and just into “I forgot I had a blog” territory.  Sorry about that, No One.  Cause I’m sure there’s no one left reading this thing, except probably my parents.  Hi, Folks!

I’d like to try to get this thing started again.  So I’ll give the lightning round update to bring us up to speed and then we’ll just carry on from there, k?

September 2011, HH was injured at work, 2 front teeth knocked out.  She will be home on disability for the next 15 months.  (Don’t worry, she’s all OK and fixed up now with some nice titanium implants.)

Got married on 11/10/11.  me n ildi

Celebrated our faces off on 11/11/11.  A good time was had by all.

January 2012, went on our honeymoon to San Diego.  Had an awesome time.

Kept making jelly and had a good amount of success with our business, Sweetie Pies Preserves.

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September 2012, got a puppy named Luna.  She is super cute!

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November 2012 – got Pregnant!!!

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April 2013 –  It’s a girl!

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June 2013 – HH quits her job to begin her new life as a stay-at-home mommy.  She takes excellent care of the belly and I!  Also, Grandma throws us a baby shower to beat all baby showers!

July 11th, 2013 – I am ridiculously huge…

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July 22, 2013 – Skyler Eileen is born!  8lbs, 8oz. and 20.5 inches long at 5:23am.

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September 2013 – back to work for me….boooo.  But it’s a necessity.

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And from then until now, we’re just letting Skyler teach us how to be the best mommies we can be!  We’re way more conscious of our budget and all that goes into our bodies so we’ve been making so much more of our own things.  Going forward, I’d like to start posting more on our day-to-day, our DIY adventures and updates on the development of our little lady!

That’s all for now, but hey, it’s a start!

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Back in

I lost myself within myself.

Stuffed that amazing 22-year-old

with the world at her feet

into a prison of my own design.

Closed off all the exits.

Stuffed my eyes with books and tv,

shoved smoke in my mouth

and noise in my ears.

Maybe if she can’t sense what

I’m doing,

she will just learn to love

her prison.

I keep throwing new things

down to her, to keep her occupied.

Past the throat that only closes

goes sadness and guilt

and a lock of self-worth

all rolled up into a

black hairball of despair

for her to play with;

dwell on.

Make it so big she can’t get past it.

Swallow more anger

swallow more disappointment

swallow it all down

to weigh upon her chest.

I’m running out of room

to hold it all in.

She’s finding ways to get around me.

She’s leaking out of my pen.

Tells me to force a hook

down into that one-way throat.

She wants to grab the other

end so she can tell me to pull.

Rip out the darkness, the sadness,

the guilt and the anger,

tear out the throat

so a voice can fit out.

Spread my arms out to the heavens,

raise my mouth up in a scream.

It’s going to hurt

worse than anything

to pry open my eyes

and clear out my ears.

But I can’t stay this way

any longer.

She wants to get out.

She deserves to get out.

And once that space is empty,

there won’t be any problems

for the light to find it’s way

back in.

The Happy Post

Ok, so oh. my. god. I had no idea how difficult it would be to come up with 100 quantifiable things that make me happy. Seems simple, but it’s really not! I don’t even have the energy to put a whole lot of preamble on this so I’m just gonna throw it out there. Here you go!

Things that make me happy – In no particular order of any kind

1. My wife, HH. And all the goodness that she brings to my life.
2. The sound of rumble strips. I have no idea why. I’ll always roll down the windows when approaching a toll just to get the full affect.
3. Reading. Anything and everything.
4. Baking. Especially from scratch.
5. Thinking about the rare occasions when I heard my Nana curse. Cracks me up.
6. The fact that Tootsley lets me wedge my feet completely underneath him while I sleep. He keeps my tootsies toasty!
7. The rare occasions when Chadwick turns into my personal teddy bear.
8. Snowboarding. I never would have thought I’d find a reason to love winter, but there it is.
9. Hot tea and a cozy robe on a cold night.
10. Porto Rico coffee.
11. Cooking things that make you go hmmmm and having them be delicious anyway.
12. Actually using the ginormous spreadsheet that took me two months to put together that I thought would be useless.
13. Realizing that my brother is turning out to be a fine little human, if not a little strange.
14. Driving. Especially when I get to play with my SPORTSHIFT manual on winding roads at high speeds.
15. Grocery shopping with HH. I don’t know why, but we end up having some of our best conversations in the supermarket.
16. Apple picking in the fall.
17. Shopping at the wonderfulness that is Delicious Orchards after apple picking.
18. When HH and our #1 Lezbro, Mike, have dinner waiting for me when I get home.
19. Babies laughing.
20. Black Walnut from Banana Republic. On HH. Makes me VERY happy.
21. The smell of the ocean right before it rains.
22. The first peeps of green on the trees after winter is over.
23. Really good chocolate.
24. Rubbing HH’s bald head fuzz.
25. When I catch HH staring at me and I can see how much she loves me.
26. My mother’s laughter. And all her open mouth pictures, cause that’s exactly how she really is.
27. Giant dogs that are really big mushballs.
28. When Gia secretly sneaks onto my lap and falls asleep without me even realizing it.
29. That new-baby smell.
30. The thought of my dad being the best granddad to my kids.
31. The color of my eyes in direct sunlight.
32. When my car is seriously clean.
33. Good hair days, of which I have few.
34. Movies with Angelina Jolie in them.
35. Making other people laugh.
36. Having pre-selected books waiting for me at the library.
37. Camping. Especially the no-cell-phone rule.
38. Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 20 and making it look effortless.
39. http://www.icanhazcheezburger.com/
40. Baby animals of all kinds.
41. When my dad lets me drive his car.
42. The fact that my cars have now spanned 20 years. My first was an ’89 Mercury Sable and my current is an ’09 Subaru Impreza Outback Sport.
43. My newly revamped credit score.
44. Rashi wine.
45. Kitchen gadgets. The weirder the better. My current favorite is my new Wilton pastry cutter.
46. My Kitchenaid mixer.
47. My spice rack, which is bigger than your spice rack and the fact that I know how to use all of them.
48. My snowboard.
49. The fact that I have a roof rack to attach said snowboard to!
50. Key West. Especially the wonderful world of the woman-only, clothing optional lesbian bed and breakfast known as Pearl’s Rainbow.
51. Successfully NOT talking to other people on my commute.
52. Designing my ideal house in mine and HH’s heads.
53. Beating HH at Wii Bowling, cause she can’t take it, even though she kicks my ass in every other sport.
54. The $5.25 cup of hot chocolate at Café Charbonnel in Saks Fifth Avenue. Worth every damn penny.
55. Hearing songs that bring up really specific memories.
56. Dreaming of my future children’s names.
57. The mini library that I have accumulated. I’d say I’m well over 500 books at this point.
58. My original 1873 edition of Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist.
59. The ring that HH bought for me early in our relationship, which we told the guy we bought it from was to be our wedding ring. I never take it off.
60. The fact that my parents see HH as a true daughter-in-law.
61. Mamasoo and Ruddyna, without whom work would be a truly bottomless pit of hell. They are my sunshine.
62. So clearly remembering instantly falling in love with my brother, the moment my mother put him in my arms. Also, thinking “I need to get me one of these.”
63. Reuniting with old friends and finding that it’s just as easy to talk to them as it was 10 years ago.
64. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by the Police.
65. 5:00pm, Monday through Friday.
66. The plant that I and each of my cousins still have a piece of that belonged to Nana, even though she’s been gone for 8 years now.
67. Hosting parties.
68. Going out on the porch in the middle of the night and listening to the quiet.
69. I’m going to borrow from Mamasoo here and simply say yes.
70. The knowledge that I will finally hit the slopes on December 12th at Plattekill Mountain!!
71. Seeing other gay couples. Makes me feel like I’m not so weird.
72. That moment of satisfaction right after I have scrubbed my kitchen clean.
73. Alternately, the messing up of my kitchen, knowing that I will be eating something yummy as a result.
74. Vodka Sauce Pizza.
75. Vacations. Of all kinds. As long as I’m on them.
76. When HH and I are cracking up laughing at something, and Chadwick simply MUST come and investigate the source of the laughter. He can also tell when we’re faking the laughs.
77. Wii tournaments with Nick & Jen.
78. When HH surprises me by being outside my work door when I go outside.
79. Having random coincidences work out spectacularly.
80. Witnessing things that, I swear, ONLY happen in NY.
81. Guilty pleasures, such as Otalia and Spashley, and I don’t care who knows it!
82. A Touch of Sea Salt chocolate bars from Lindt.
83. Road trips!
84. My inner compass, which was very upset by the sun being on the wrong side in Los Angeles. I’m an East Coast gal!
85. Music in all its forms.
86. Learning things, all things, and any things.
87. The bioluminescent bay in Vieques, Puerto Rico.
88. Sunday mornings snuggling in bed with the wife surrounded by our kitties.
89. Blu-ray movies.
90. Chipotle’s Vegetarian Burrito bowls! Yum.
91. Reminiscing about childhood memories.
92. Watching the leaves turn colors in the fall.
93. The random days during which all my neighbors end up stopping by and hanging out. Makes me feel all June Cleaver-like.
94. Scotland Road Behr paint. It’s in my dining room and has such a calming effect.
95. Looking at old pictures.
96. The laughing day. That’s the day when you can look back on crappy stuff that happened in the past and finally laugh about it.
97. Heated front seats in the car.
98. Peppermint Bark. Gotta make a batch of that real soon.
99. The fact that I’m now old enough to realize that what I once thought was unfair treatment from my parents was only them teaching me how to truly survive in the real world.
100. Finishing this list!!!