Let’s try this again

So I seem to have lost another hunk of time since my last post.  I’ve been feeling the itch to write lately, and today, in the tiny little free newspaper they give out at the ferry that I never normally take, my horoscope said “It’s time to write your book, now that Jupiter’s in Virgo.  Communications are your golden key.  Lecture, blog, craft a website, paint, film and record.”  So, here I am.

So, we had another baby. HH carried this time and we had another wonderful little girl, Lexie Hayden. She’s 9 months old now and she’s just a little bucket of joy. Skyler is enjoying her role as big sister and she just turned 2. See? I told you it’s been awhile.

This right here is pretty much my world:
Family FB_IMG_1427205845975 Lexsmile Skyeyes

Ok, so, we’re all back up to speed. Moving on.

I’ve installed WordPress on my phone so maybe, if it’s right at my fingertips, just maybe I’ll post a little more.

Putting a toe back in the water

So, 2 years have passed since my last post.  I think that goes way beyond slacker and just into “I forgot I had a blog” territory.  Sorry about that, No One.  Cause I’m sure there’s no one left reading this thing, except probably my parents.  Hi, Folks!

I’d like to try to get this thing started again.  So I’ll give the lightning round update to bring us up to speed and then we’ll just carry on from there, k?

September 2011, HH was injured at work, 2 front teeth knocked out.  She will be home on disability for the next 15 months.  (Don’t worry, she’s all OK and fixed up now with some nice titanium implants.)

Got married on 11/10/11.  me n ildi

Celebrated our faces off on 11/11/11.  A good time was had by all.

January 2012, went on our honeymoon to San Diego.  Had an awesome time.

Kept making jelly and had a good amount of success with our business, Sweetie Pies Preserves.

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September 2012, got a puppy named Luna.  She is super cute!

luna 2

November 2012 – got Pregnant!!!

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April 2013 –  It’s a girl!

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June 2013 – HH quits her job to begin her new life as a stay-at-home mommy.  She takes excellent care of the belly and I!  Also, Grandma throws us a baby shower to beat all baby showers!

July 11th, 2013 – I am ridiculously huge…

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July 22, 2013 – Skyler Eileen is born!  8lbs, 8oz. and 20.5 inches long at 5:23am.

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September 2013 – back to work for me….boooo.  But it’s a necessity.

Balck Dress

And from then until now, we’re just letting Skyler teach us how to be the best mommies we can be!  We’re way more conscious of our budget and all that goes into our bodies so we’ve been making so much more of our own things.  Going forward, I’d like to start posting more on our day-to-day, our DIY adventures and updates on the development of our little lady!

That’s all for now, but hey, it’s a start!

Without Words

Ok, this is just a bit out of my comfort zone, but I’m gonna get over myself and pull on my big girl panties and post it anyway.  It’s another HH drabble from back in the day.  But there’s no shame in my game, because she still makes me feel this way, 8 years later.  This is the one I was talking about in the Words post.  I didn’t end up asking her if I could post it.  I’m just gonna hope that she won’t be mad that I wanted to tell the world what she does to me.  Ok, I’m gonna go hide now.

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I’ve just found the proper pen to convey what I need to say.  There’s just a certain something about the way you look at me just then.  A certain something that I cannot place, yet drives me mad.  My handwriting even feels sexier somehow, just thinking about it.  And you’re not even near but I can feel you.  I feel you melt the rest of the world away so quickly.  Your breath floods my senses.  They perceive nothing outside your body.  They have forgotten anything else exists at all.  And I love when your eyes devour me, from across the room.  Like the first night I wore that slinky blue thing, I was so much more nervous than I seemed.  But your eyes calmed me.  So intense.  I had to look away.  Then your shy and quiet grin, as if to ask, “For me?”  Your touch then, even through the silk, was electric.  It sent your current all through me.  The second you touch me, I want you.  And my body knows it.  My awareness of being watched lets me know that you notice.  You notice everything.  My breathing, my movements, how I hold you, how I grab you, how I dig my fingers in your back.  How could you not notice?  Then the torrential downpour of kisses, leaving me breathless and swimming in the puddle of myself.  My neck prickles with even your slightest breath.  And though I’d never say it, I love the torture of it.  To feel myself writhe to escape you and your grip tighten to entrap me further.  I could never stop you.  Or perhaps I just wouldn’t.  And I love when I feel you want me just as bad.  That my body is the only glove suitable for your lovely hand to wear.  Sometimes I see the look in your eyes that tells me you wait, simply to hear me ask and breathe “Please”.  The wicked grin that ensues is maddening.  I feed half off your actions and half off your reactions.  I cannot take my eyes off you.  I feel your hands on my legs, the back of my thighs, slowly.  As you take in the view, I wait for you.  Then there is the something.  The something that makes me mistake your name for God’s and I shake, hold you with all that I have left.  And your devilish smile, not letting me go.  I can’t even see your lips, but I know it’s there.  And the sweet kiss that comes after, as I hold your face, look into your eyes and tell you I love you, without words.

A little more leakage

Today I share 3 poems/writings from the very beginning of my relationship with HH.  I will only preface this by saying that HH and I had a tough beginning, as we started out as friends and were both with other people.  We made some stupid decisions back then, and hurt others and ourselves in the process.  I regret the hurt we caused, but I will never regret the outcome.

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1/20/02 – 4:26am

The light seems to have

    lost itself in you.

Your eyes,

    your hair,

        your smile.

It reflects off of everything

    and back to you.

It cannot escape your grasp.

    Like me,

       in a way.

I keep bouncing off,

    yet finding myself returning to you.

Like a boomerang,

    I throw myself away

       and return every time

    like I don’t know how

       to do anything else.

And I don’t know if I

    should,

        but I’m inexplicably drawn.

The light is definitely lost in you.

    Perhaps it is that light,

       in you,

           that I search for.

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I walked around in the supermarket,

    aimlessly,

        for an hour,

    wondering what you would want

         if I cooked you dinner,

    in our house,

        somewhere in the future.

Or if I wrote a song,

     what words you would

          want it to have.

I don’t know anything about you,

     but I know enough.

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11/15/02

You sleep here,

    cocooned in my bed,

       so peacefully

    as I watch you.

And I am content

     just to hear you breathe.

I want to kiss

    where your hair

       meets your neck

    but I do not.

I do not want to disturb you.

    My love.

Love is admiring from afar

    for now,

       knowing that when you wake,

     it will be in my arms.

My miracle

I had an e-mail waiting for me when I got to work. The only words on it were these:
If you could make one miracle happen in your life, what would it be?

My response was so visceral, so instantaneous, and so absolutely clear that it nearly knocked me out of my chair. It was like I didn’t even have to consciously THINK about it. It was just there already. And I guess it shouldn’t come as such a surprise to me, because it’s not as though I’ve never thought about it before. I just never thought about it in terms of a miracle.

My one miracle in life would be for me and HH to be able to create a baby together. Difficult, seeing as we’re both women and all, but something I wish for with all my heart, nonetheless. I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever that we will HAVE kids. I just really wish that I didn’t have to use DNA from a stranger in order to do so. And I’m fully aware that any kid raised by us, will inherit our behaviors and habits and such, but I just would love to be able to carry a baby that came out with HH’s eyes in their little face. Or to have her carry a baby that came complete with a tiny bubble butt, like me.

I guess it just bothers me that any features our child will have, that didn’t come from whichever one of us carried them, will be found on some stranger out in the world. Some man will be out there, who has my son’s eyes or my daughters nose and he won’t even know about it.

I guess I’ve come to terms with this, to an extent and I’m positive that I’m going to love those kids to the fullest of my ability no matter what. But I guess there will always be that part of me that mourns over the fact that my DNA + HH’s DNA will never = baby.

But hey, it’s my miracle, and I’ll wish for it if I want to!

An Update

***NOTICE – Read the post below this first, so you know whats going on. – NOTICE***

So, after purchasing my headphones, I was just uncomfortable walking around with that much cash, so I put it in the bank. Seems reasonable, right?

I get home, rockin out in my new Sony’s and HH notices them so I told her I bought something for myself! Yay! She’s proud. Then we’re thinking of ordering some food for dinner, so she asks me if I have any cash on me. I say no. She said, “I KNOW you didn’t pay $200 for those headphones.” So I put my head down, and admit that I put the rest in the bank.

She stares at me for a few minutes and then says, “I SHOULD SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! HOW OFTEN DOES IT HAPPEN THAT YOU HAVE JUST EXTRA MONEY LYING AROUND AND I TELL YOU TO PLEASE SPEND IT ON YOURSELF?!?! NEVER! UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHRRRHHHHH!”

So I calmed her down, by telling her that with the money in the bank, I can ORDER whatever I want. Which was a new bag for her. She just sighed.